READING'S 'Writer in Residence', Jeff Scott, was in attendance for Racers recent aborted home meeting against Somerset, afterwards he penned the latest addition to his blog, 'Lapping it Up'.

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10th August

Yummy Mummy Hunts Continues Under Dark Skies

The penultimate Sunday meeting ever at the stadium has title chasing Somerset Sharp Rebels as the visitors in what promises to be a testing, close encounter for the Racers. There’s already so much standing water and puddles in the Smallmead car park that the meeting could be in doubt if the track looks anything similar. Tonight I expect that fans will be asked to moor their cars rather than park them. Ahead of me in the queue is a brand new, wonderfully shiny black Mercedes Estate for which the protective bollards that guard the VIP parking area are immediately and automatically removed. The car glides through the puddles to a standstill to prime position directly in front of the turnstiles that any disabled speedway fan would probably relish for its proximity to the canopied entrance. For a moment, I wonder if Terry Russell has deigned to visit the club before it closes at this location but the obvious lack of personalised number plates and the sight of the avuncular Dave Rattenberry emerging from the drivers seat soon dispels that illusion. Dave runs the second biggest speedway Trackshop Empire in Britain and, if judged by this car, rumours of a credit crunch affecting the world of memorabilia seems wildly misplaced.

Inside there are already a smattering of fans keen to take up there favoured viewing positions under a sky filled with impressively black clouds. There’s a particularly impressive bank of darkness away in the distance in the general direction of Bracknell blowing steadily towards the industrial estate. If the deluge I’d just driven through was any guide to future precipitation over Smallmead then the meeting could struggle to go ahead on the already sodden track. When I bump into amiable Club Presenter, Paul Hunsdon, he takes considerable pride in the widespread renown enjoyed by the drains at Smallmead stadium (“it’s a fast drying circuit with good drains – at 4 o’clock this afternoon the track looked perfect but we had two downpours we didn’t want”) but worries that the combination of the clouds and the forecast threat of rain has “already knocked the crowd” (even if the meeting does go ahead). “The track is borderline already, another shower and it’ll be off!” All the talk of possible bad weather distracts from the real underlying purpose of his presentational work at the speedway, namely the hunt for a future Mrs. Hunsdon or, at least, the opportunity to ‘romance’ such a lady. Tadley based Paul must be one of the most supremely optimistic men in the country based on the fact he forsakes Internet dating websites in favour of his ongoing weekly hunt (conducted with some wit and blatant tenacity over the tannoy) for potential chance encounters with thirty-something Yummy Mummies. Quite how future romance will ensue from glances over the safety fence I don’t know but, on every speedway race night, he pursues his chosen quest for Lurv with greater zeal than Siralun applies to his own hunt for a deserving apprentice. No raffle draw is complete without some ‘awful’ (but fun) prizes or Paul quizzing bemused young children afterwards as to the looks, availability and relative fitness of their mums before, invariably rebuffed, Paul’s search for his Yummy Mummy continues.

Elsewhere in the stadium, the talk has turned to “dodgy Thai websites”. Well, it has temporarily in the nerve centre of media operations on race night at Smallmead, which is housed in the VIP Lounge linked to the main grandstand. Inside it provides a panoramic (albeit slightly obscured by the air fence) view of the track and the chance for I guess around 50 or so people to eat in comparative luxury at the stadium enjoying the use of tablecloths, silver cutlery and napkins. Through the double fire doors, inside the hallowed portals of the VIP lounge area by the fully stocked and licensed bar, hardworking Communications Manager, Andy Povey, and Media Manager & Programme Editor, Robert Bamford are already in situ patiently sat at their desk by the doorway though it’s still well over an hour before the scheduled start time of 6pm. The sound of the door opening has them startle like nervous fawns before they both simultaneously glance somewhat furtively (with a collective expression that mixes surprise and guilt in equal measures) from whatever enthrals them both on the screen of Andy’s laptop. In detective work they say that the desire to confess often inadvertently overcomes the need for secrecy (at least it does on the telly), but the same thing obviously doesn’t hold in speedway as the conversation quickly turns in true nudge, nudge, wink, wink fashion to the news that website design and maintenance for Thailand based clients are Andy’s “best customer apart from the BSPA”.

Lascivious ladies wrestling in mud or whatever they do aside, I relish the chance to watch these smooth media operators in action first hand. After years of experience at Swindon, Rob has got the various demands of post meeting press release down to a fine art so, consequently, already has the blank template for his report on the Somerset meeting pre-loaded on his computer ready to be completed with race results and some elegant descriptions of the on track action. Within hours of the chequered flag falling on Heat 15, Rob’s press release will wend its way to the in boxes of key media organisations across Berkshire and the rest of the world. Rob is renowned for his accuracy and fastidiousness both in his reports and, of course, his acclaimed Yearbooks. He’s applied his natural zeal for fact checking to one of the Swindon chapters in my latest book Concrete for Breakfast and highlights that I’ve misspelt the 2007 Robins yellow start girl (a young lady Rob described as “stunning”) by omitting the ‘ck’ from [Emma] Dickson.

Before any other errors can be identified, we’re interrupted by the arrivals of track photographer Les Aubrey closely followed by the ultimate Racers uber-fan (so called to distinguish him from Reading uber fan and author Arnie Gibbons) Nick Dyer. He is himself an author of one of the most incisive and hard-hitting speedway columns in any club programme. The rain has also arrived and briefly lashes the track. Symptomatic of the measured decline over many decades of the facilities at Smallmead stadium rain leaks through the closed VIP Lounge window and splashes onto the table close to flecking Rob’s laptop. Electrocuted in the course of his press duties at a speedway meeting wouldn’t be ideal for Mister Bamford and would definitely play havoc with the luxuriant shoulder length hairstyle he sports as if he’s just arrived fresh from a 70s rock disco or Chicory Tip tribute band performance! “Leaking windows – I’m gonna have to put my coat [smart blue designeresque Racers anorak] on indoors – it’s coming in there and blasting down.”

Sat silently by the crowded Reading speedway media high table, I listen as the conversation ranges widely from the amazing performance at Lakeside of Croatian teenager Jurica Pavlic (“such a nice kid as well – really nice – he ain’t got the arrogance of Troy Batchelor”) to an analysis of the management skills and likely no show of Wimbledon PLC Chairman Ian Perkin at the forthcoming Oxford versus Wimbledon challenge meeting at Smallmead. Talk that during 2009 the Racers could relocate to Newport dismays Nick Dyer, “If we go to Newport, I won’t be able to go! Who stages matches in another country anyway?” Knowledgeable Robert has been coming to speedway since he saw Swindon versus Ipswich in 1977. “I think Swindon won. I remember Billy Sanders was absolutely flying. My father took me. It was because they used to have speedway league tables printed in the national newspapers then – we were Swindon Football Club season ticket holders and I saw we were top of the Gulf Oil speedway league. I said to me Dad ‘what’s this about?’ and you know what it’s about when you get that methanol buzz!”

With the rain having now stopped, Paul Hunsdon’s voice booms over the tannoy to offer vague reassurance to those fans already mooching inside the stadium for the action to start. In a hushed and slightly melancholic tone of voice he probably usually reserves for news of the death of a distant family relation, Paul reveals that the-powers-that-be in the form of the riders, referee and Reading/Somerset team management will “look at the options around racing”. This news is followed with the slightly unnecessary caveat, “the track is already wet!”

Still sat in front of an unused meeting report template on his laptop, after some discussion of how he maintains his svelte figure Rob over recent decades shocks me with news, “I might be out of speedway work next year!” I suggest that the absence of the country’s greatest living speedway writer from the UK version of the sport would be like having a speedway track without shale or rum without coke. “Put down Rob Bamford’s on something of a sabbatical, no, put down, takes it in his stride with a chortle!” Something Rob doesn’t react to with equanimity is news that one of the football teams he supports, Manchester United, have scraped through a penalty shoot out to claim their first trophy of the season (the Charity Shield). In fact, when the news of the win flashes onto Andy’s laptop to displace the wrestling in baked beans, Fray Bentos or whatever, Rob’s ecstatic delight is such he punches the air in triumph! Luckily the sky brightens to distract us and Paul informs us over the tannoy, “the track is in a very damp and soggy condition! There’s a debate between numerous parties…I want to give you the correct information and we apologise for any inconvenience.” Away in the distance there’s a conspicuous lack of action by the pits gate, though a man I haven’t seen before walks the length of the home straight and mooches about by the first bend. Ever knowledgeable, Rob tells me, “that’s whats-his-name. That’s Roger. He’s one of the sponsors, no club benefactors, who doesn’t want fame - shy personality!”

The debate over the fitness or otherwise of the track has reached such a pitch that referee Dale Entwhistle has had to abandon the commentary box to the disappointment of Bob Radford who’s liked what he’s seen of the referee, “a very pleasant young man with a goatee beard”. Bob remains anxious about the damage to his footwear the cloying nature of the damp shale will have on Dale’s “shiny black shoes”. On the first bend, the track staff attend to what could be euphemistically described as ‘dampness’ before a clarion call over the tannoy from Paul Hunsdon (“can Lance and Darren Sealy come to see the referee Dale Entwhistle in the pits?”) disrupts their work. Typifying the British summer, the sun comes out brightly and soon has a greenhouse effect on the multi-windowed media centre that causes Rob to note, “we could grow tomatoes in here!” Speedway notables are drawn to the media area like moths to a light bulb. Ross Marks from the club Commercial Administration teams joins us having broken off from test your reactions duties by turnstiles. The chance to watch a speedway meeting not happening is probably a welcome break from the day-to-day work of initiative conceptualisation, development and roll out that had been the subject of some animated discussion earlier. Also hovering directly outside the windows is Chris Seaward who’s recently been installed as Swindon Press Officer after the early season retirement from this post by our very own Robert Bamford. Initially Chris can’t figure out where the entrance to the media centre is, prompting Andy Povey to wryly observe, “he is from Swindon so you can’t expect him to find the door to get in!” Having passed Redin speedway’s equivalent of a treasure hunt, Chris and Rob animatedly exchange stories about the Robins along with war stories about the praise they get showered with for their work.


Slipping unobtrusively into the VIP Lounge is the veteran speedway/sports reporter from the Reading Evening Post, Dave Wright. He casually unpacks his laptop from his computer bag and surveys the scene in front of him. Though it has brightened considerably from earlier, there is still clearly some lateral water visible on various sections of the track. If this were golf, then under local rules the riders would be able to drop their balls without penalty. Dave has seen it all before during his many years reporting from Smallmead so studiously doesn’t join in the debate about whether the meeting will proceed. Still sounding morose with his roving microphone in the vicinity of the pits, Paul Hunsdon updates us with further summary detail of the discussions in the pits, “the referee has had a long chat with the two team captains [Mark Lemon & Emil Kramer] and the track staff – the track might be rideable but not raceable!” These aren’t generally words to warm the heart of any speedway fan since, on the whole, we prefer to see the riders racing rather than gingerly following each other round the circuit. While we wait for more news I grab a few words with Dave Wright about his journalistic career and his time following the fortunes of the Racers as well as other sports in Berkshire. “I was born in Ashford Hospital in Middlesex but was brought up in Bracknell really. I covered athletics down there and joined the sports department of the paper in 1975. My first love was horse racing but I’ve covered most things, well every sport really. Athletics, tennis, Reading football, cricket (I was at Lords last week with Berkshire), the Henley Regatta, I’ve been in Europe with Reading hockey. Plus speedway, of course! I haven’t done golf – really it’s been a way of life! I first came to speedway when Dave Dibbin – he was our speedway reporter then – said come down and see what you think. We sat on the roof and watched it. He showed me things – how to score and things to look for and I started to come more and more often. I started covering it myself quite a long time ago, about 1978. I haven’t missed that many matches down here. I even reported a match rather than go to the birth of my first son, Nick. Halifax rings a bell as my first meeting. I can’t remember if we won? For me, the most memorable era was Dave Lanning’s days. Those days were the most enjoyable with crowds of five or six thousand and a good atmosphere! We had riders like John Davis, Dave Jessup and Jan Andersson.”

“The stadium closure is no real surprise. It is a bit of an eyesore compared to that around it now. It’s never been modernised or made more of – not the fault of anyone – but we needed a John Madejski figure to come in really. The biggest disappointment was the way BSI came in without consulting the people involved with Reading speedway over a number of years. If they had, they wouldn’t have made some of the mistakes they did. They were Big Boys from London coming in with lots of money and good at running speedway Grand Prix, but they could have been better advised. Obviously, there must be serious doubts over the future of the [new] stadium. Malcolm and his health problems worry me about the future. Did you know the same company closed Milton Keynes? And said in Milton Keynes they’d move to a new stadium but it never materialised. A Racino would benefit Reading but the tides against these more than it was a few years ago and it really would need a major injection of cash going forward to make it happen! It’s been very friendly this season and a very enjoyable night out. Reg Fearman had a front man with personality- Dave Lanning – who invented ‘Sun type stories’, if you like, that then got picked up and covered in the national media. I think we need such a figurehead again to draw attention to the club.”

“Looking back I have so many memories, sometimes strange ones. I’d had an operation in Windsor hospital (on my thyroid) and I was sitting there one afternoon waiting to come out and Reg Fearman turned up in his yellow Rolls Royce and picked me up and took me home. That’s the sort of fella he was. Made me feel like a Lord. Alf Weedon was always good too – ringing up to see how I was. Speedway’s full of interesting characters. People like our photographer Eddie Greville. He’s an amazing fella – only freelance – his work is magnificent and is up there with the likes of Mike Patrick and Alf Weedon but often overlooked. Then lots of people give so much time without being properly noticed.”


Throughout our conversation the track staff have worked industriously to prepare and primp the sodden track as time has ticked well past the scheduled start time. Announcements from Paul Hunsdon have temporarily dried up and Robert Bamford has caught his morose mood, “I’ll be annoyed if they call it off after all this effort!” To pass the time, Rob and Nick Dyer discuss the merits of the riders in the Somerset line up and the impressive return from injury of Craig Watson.
[ND] “He was unbeatable on his day round here!”
[RB] “And at Swindon! He’s not the same now but he’s more than half the rider he was before and has a good average, a handy average.”
[ND] “It’s not handy if you can’t ride above it!”
[RB] “You can say that about many riders.”
[Paul Hunsdon on tannoy] “Just to let you know that it’s still under discussion here in the pits”
[ND] “Call it off for freak’s sake!”
[RB] “So that’s half an hour wasted.”
[ND] “Off that second turn, it’s still looking very damp to me. It looks slick and heavy.”
[RB] “This will be very bad PR if they call it off now!”
[Andy Povey at 18.58] “They said seven and it’s gone seven!”
[ND] “It’s dry in the middle and soaking wet on the inside.”
[RB] “Three heats and that track will be dry. This decision could have a bearing on the league championship!”

Minutes later the news suddenly comes through that the meeting will go ahead as planned and Reading immediately slither their way to a 5-1 in the first heat. Tomas Suchanek casts off his poor form of recent weeks and looks a totally different rider on the wet shale. Judged from their body language both during and after the race, both Somerset riders Jason Doyle and Stephan Katt don’t look like the happiest campers you’ve ever seen on a speedway track. No longer sounding like he’s had to break the news of the death of a much loved family pet or disliked distant relative, Paul Hunsdon is suddenly overwhelmed with the joys of life, “well, we waited 80 minutes – but it was worth it, if you’re a Redin fan!” Sat in front of his trusty laptop Rob Bamford views the intricacies first heat action in silently watchful mode before frenetically setting about one finger typing with the zeal of a hormonal teenager delayed en route to a possibly extremely significant romantic encounter. Glancing over his shoulder as a single finger hammers out his silky prose, I’m transported to a parallel universe where the race I just saw is described with additional detail and lustre. If this was a television programme it would definitely be ‘Pimp My Ride’ since the Reliant Robin of a race on a slippery surface I’ve just witnessed suddenly becomes a Mercedes with tons of bling and customised extras suitable for a foul mouthed but objectively talentless rapper. With his wife watching with friends at a window view table in the grandstand, Mark Lemon blasted to the front while Tomas Suchanek rode what Rob described as a “clever inside line” to pass the Somerset pair and, ultimately, zoom past his more tentative race partner. An alternative version could be that Tomas totally missed the start but - with the Somerset pair slithering and dithering all over the place across the first and second bends – he made the best of his own circumstances to blast by them and recover the situation. So we really witnessed a serviceable race with rideability to the fore rather than raceability.

Heat 2 then failed to happen in quick order and another very noticeable time delay ensued. The dulcet tones of Bob Radford eventually come over the loudspeaker system, “just to explain that Jason Doyle has been on the phone to the ref and they’re having a chat. Just to keep you in the picture!” Rob notes, “the Rebels are frightened and looking at how this will affect their title tilt. They’ve got this down as a banker away win. It’s all about attitude. They still could win but they’ll need the right attitude.” Shortly afterwards Bob Radford updates us on yet more discussions, “it will be reviewed after four races”. Sadly the meeting gets no further than the first corner of the next race after the Somerset pair of Stephan Katt and Brent Werner gate with alacrity while behind them in third place Nicki Glanz falls awkwardly in slow motion and is saved from the grief of further possible injury by a prompt lay down of his machine by the following Danny Warwick. Paul Hunsdon notes with some relish albeit with joy singularly absent from his voice, “unfortunately both Redin boys took a bit of a pearler!” While Bob Radford, despite having already heard one side of Jason Doyle’s phone call of complaint, muses, “clearly everything is a bit more difficult than we thought”. The stricken youngster is soon surrounded with an impressive crowd of people wearing fluorescent clothing and, though clearly the accident looked innocuous, Nicki is in considerable pain. After some time Bob confirms the evidence of our eyes, “Nicki is on his haunches” before a few minutes later the question of “rider safety” sensibly results in the by now widely anticipated abandonment of the meeting. As a result of his slo-mo fall, Nicki will sadly miss the rest of the season with a broken collarbone.

10th August Reading v Somerset 5-1 (meeting abandoned)

‘Concrete for Breakfast’ prolific speedway author Jeff Scott’s latest book from his annual odyssey round every speedway track in Britain is in the track shop and features four witty chapters on Reading.
It's the ideal birthday or Christmas present for any speedway fan and at £20 represents excellent value with 220,000+ words spread over 53 chapters. Copies can also be bought at <http://www.methanolpress.com>Review comments have included:
"Possibly Speedway's War and Peace, or its Ulysses. The epic by which all other books on the sport will be judged" Ian McMillan, The Times

"A masterpiece of observation and writing. I swear his books get better and better" Peter Oakes, Speedway Star